Dun dun dun-dun!

That was the "Here comes the bride" song, in case you couldn't tell. The wedding's less than a week away and I am excited and very ready. Plus, I can't wait to party with everyone! :)

Moving & Stress

I recently started a blog about how I hate packing so that I could procrastinate packing, but then Heather called and it was the best of both worlds because I got to talk (have fun, which feels like procrastinating) and pack at the same time. This was extra-hard packing because I had to decide what went where (Appleton, Storage in Midland, or home to Midland/perhaps on the honeymoon?)... I couldn't just shove it all in the trunk of my car and peace out. Plus, it was the process of going through 4 years worth of college stuff... books and papers and CDs and everything else. I don't think you truly value living simply until you have to move.

Because of the moving and the graduating and the finals and the getting married, I have been under a liiiiiiiiitle stress lately. Not the really bad kind of stress, like when a family member dies or anything, but the kind of stress where there is just an overwhelmingly lot to do. Luckily there are people in my life who are genuinely trying to relieve as much of that stress as possible... but even those ones sometimes add stress in their own special way. :) Lately marriage has seemed like the light at the end of the tunnel... not so much because I'm excited to finally truly be with Matt (even though I really, really am), but because I think my/our world might finally calm down a little bit. I'm imagining grilling hot dogs while our ice cream maker churns away at our desert in the kitchen after an afternoon of roller blading or maybe swimming... and that sounds amazing right about now.

Because Miles and I both like Fish

I was reading the No Impact Man blog today (thanks, Brianna!) and I saw a post about sustainable fishing. I remember learning about all this in that Biology of Being A Liberal class (even if that wasn't the name...) that Brianna, Beth, and I took two falls ago, but it had kind of slipped from the forefront of my mind, what with graduating, getting married, moving to Wisconsin, job hunting, and all. So, I decided to visit the Marine Stewardship Council's website to see where I could buy sustainably caught fish. Of course, Whole Foods was at the top of the list. But right below it was Wal-Mart... and they carried more types of sustainably caught fish than Whole Foods or anyone else! I thought, really? Wal-mart? Does the typical Wal-Mart customer really care if the fish (sticks) that s/he is buying were fished sustainably? I guess I just don't understand the philosophy... buy out much of the world's markets, underpay workers, and force single moms to work overtime off the record under threat of termination... but all sustainably!

So here's the conundrum...
What if you lived in a small town and there were only two grocery stores: a Busch's that didn't sell any sustainable, organic, or whatever-ecological-issue-you-get-off-on-food and a Wal-Mart that sold a lot of it. Assuming that you're not committed enough to grow your all own fruits and vegetables (and knead your own bread) or drop a line in the Huron River for your dinner, would you go to Busch's to support good business practices or Wal-Mart to support the sustainable/organic industry? Now that's a thinker.

In case you were wondering...

I know that everyone says that these are dumb, but I secretly love (it's the inner voyeur in me) them so I'm putting one here.

"Thing's You've Done"

Place an X by all the things you've done.

Smoked a cigarette
Drank so much you threw up. X
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back. X
Been arrested.
Gone on a blind date
Skipped school X
Seen someone die
Been to Canada. X
Been to Florida X
Been to Mexico X
Been lost X
Gone to Washington, D.C
Swam in the ocean. X
Played in a tree house
Recently coloured with crayons
Sang karaoke X
Paid for a meal with only coins X
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't. X
Made prank phone calls. X
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose X
...or wet my pants X
Caught a snowflake on your tongue. X
Danced in the rain. X... from what I remember of that night, it was awesome! but no one would jump in the nasty mud puddle...
Written a letter to Santa Claus X
Been kissed under the mistletoe.
Watched the sun rise with someone you care about. (i don't get up in the morning much)
Made a bonfire on the beach. X
Gone roller-skating. X
Gone Ice-skating X
Been to Africa
Been on TV
Steal any traffic signs X
Eaten cookies for dinner X
Been in a car accident that's your fault XXXX

1. Any Nicknames: Trace? Tracer (my mom)

2. Mothers Name: Mary B!

3. What is your favorite drink? Sangria, Cream Soda, Diet Coke

4. How much do you love your job on a scale of 1-10? Student: 8, Teacher: 9

5. Birthplace: Bay City, MI

6. Favorite vacation spot? Colorado

7. I'd prefer to drive... a Saturn Ion :)

8. Salad Dressing? Raspberry Vinaigrette

9. Favourite pie? Strawberry Rhubarb or Apple (but only in the fall... and a la mode)

10. Favourite number? 27, it's my birthday date so I feel a psychic connection with it

11. Favourite movie? I don't think I have a favorite... but I could watch over and over again these movies: Elf, Mean Girls, Phantom of the Opera, Zoolander (still!)

12. Favourite holiday? Christmas!

13. Favourite dessert? Oreo Cookie Delight or this other cake that my mom makes with caramel ice cream topping and sweetened condensed milk poured all through it... it's awesome

14.Favourite food? After a long day... a cheeseburger and fries

15. Favourite day of the week? Friday

16. Favourite TV. show? The Girls Next Door, Nip/Tuck, Simpsons is a classic fav, the Colbert Report

17. Toothpaste? Colgate, the paste, not the gel

18. Favourite smell? i don't know... probably some kind of food cooking, though

19. What do you do to unwind? pet Miles, watch TV

20. How do you see yourself in 10 years? older?

21. What do you do when you are bored? eat, unfortunately

"Gosh, I'm super-psyched..."

I still love Will Ferrell. "Dingle-dongle-dingle-dongle someone's calling you, Goulet!"

Have you ever heard of The Secret? Well some guy (or guys?) wrote it and Oprah endorses it and I endorse Oprah, so I heard about it over her show. I'm not sure what it's really about, but I do really agree with the Law of Attraction... or at least what my understanding of it is. From what I know it says that positivity attracts positivity and negativity attracts negativity. My experience proves this to be true. When you're in a good place, doesn't it seem like good things happen to you? And the opposite, when you're in a bad place it seems like bad things happen. So I started wondering what it meant to actively put yourself in a "good place." OK, so I haven't totally figured that one out yet, but I've been trying. So far it's looked like a very rough version of being honest, caring about those around me, not judging, laughing/smiling more, and looking forward to the future. I still get pissed about the little things, though... which is neither here nor there. :) I know this all sounds pretty... flubbery, but I want the things that I can control to be positive and healthy.

Whatever you call it, I feel like I'm finally really putting the negativity behind me, which is a really freeing feeling.

"Except for next fall..."

Matt and I (and Katie and Tom) went to Appleton this weekend to find us an apartment for the summer. At first it was really frustrating... we got stood up by a couple of landlords, harassed by another, and just saw some all-around crappy places. Later in the day we saw one or two that we liked and the next day found the place. It was so exciting! And, in a stunning twist of fate, it was our budget that actually helped us get this apartment. Oh budget, we have a love-hate relationship, don't we?

As far as Appleton goes, it seems like a cool city. It has a pretty big downtown area with lots of restaurants (Frank's Pizza Palace) and bars (The Durty Leprechaun w/ my favorite bartender David! Ok, his name was Chris but I called him David all night...) and also a big performing arts theater (Lion King will be there this summer... which would seriously excite me if I hadn't already seen it twice :/). Also, there is a cheese festival right next door in Little Chute, which is 15 minutes away. As we were told many times, everything in Appleton is 15 minutes away from everything else. Our apartment? 15 minutes from Matt's work, downtown, and the lake. It's sweet. I think we're both so excited to go somewhere new and start new things together.

What to do with my art degree other than work at this coffee shop?

I'm watching the most awkward flirting EVER between the girl that works here at Espresso Royale and some guy with toad-foot shoes. It's making me wonder... after May 12th, will I feel so guilty about looking at another guy that I will never awkwardly flirt again?

Well, probably not. Let's be honest.

As I sit here waiting...

I'm waiting for the Dell chat-with-someone-who-can-fix-your-effing-computer thing gets warmed up and thinking... how did people live before computers? Seriously, I don't say that in the "Gosh, I just HAVE to look at Facebook 200 times a day!" kind of way. I say it in a I-don't-know-how-to-use-a-phone-book-or-dictionary-to-save-my-life kind of way. (Lots of hyphenation today!) So then, am I less savvy because my parents know how to use a phone where you can't backspace the numbers if you type them in wrong, or am I more savvy because I know how to keep a blog and write email? Maybe I just shouldn't try to classify myself as savvy or not savvy because that could be pretty dangerous to my self esteem.

Matt, Katie, Tom, and I are going to Appleton next weekend to look at apartments for Matt and me in the summer. I'm really excited! I can't wait to see what the city is like, what the people are like, and what apartment we could spend our first few months as a married couple in. I hope we can find some friends. And a good bar. And maybe a sushi place... Tian will have to come help me find a good one of those. :)

Funny dream I had two nights ago: I was back in the 4th hour that I taught last semester, chatting with the students about how the semester finished, if they were thinking about college, life in general, you know. So I'm making the rounds while the new student teacher (who was like 70) tried to teach when, lo and behold, Hillary Duff is in the class! She told me she had decided to finish high school (which I think she already has, in real life) and heard that the Saline Schools were really great, so she decided to transfer. The the girl next to her was like, "Um, I don't think Hillary wants to talk anymore." She totally publicist-ed me from talking to her... and in my own dream!

The News Today

Today in the Daily, front and center, there was an article that caught my eye. The long and the short of it was that over the weekend a girl (who was pretty high) walked into a fraternity house, got naked, laid down on the couch, and started masturbating. Apparently the girl was quite calm throughout, talking not only to the boys who lived there but also on her cell phone. Well, after a half hour of that, the boys decided to call the police. And this got me thinking...

If that had been a guy who walked into a sorority, undressed, laid on the couch, and started touching himself those girls would NOT have waited a half hour to call the police. Why? Because they would have felt so threatened. Isn't the contradiction interesting? A guy basically sexually harassing a bunch of girls -- disgusting, scarring, threatening. A girl doing the same thing to a bunch of guys -- laughable, perhaps slightly confusing, a funny story.

So, why didn't these guys feel threatened, too?

Google

Last night Brianna googled herself and found that the first two sites it brought up were of her in Crusade. When she told me about it I immediately reached over for my computer and googled myself to see what came up... the exact same thing. I was thoroughly freaked out/pissed off so I tried to delete myself as much as possible, but those same two references still come up when I google myself.

So tell me, will this Crusade thing always be a part of me? Because I would rather pretend it never happened.

My Neighbors

When Matt visited last weekend he brought me a couple of all-the-souvenirs-in-Las-Vegas-were-crappy-so-I-bought-you-something-nicer presents. One of them was the first season of The Girls Next Door, which is my new favorite show. It's about Hugh Hefner and the three girlfriends that he lives with who are, from left to right, Kendra, Holly, and Bridget.


When I first saw it I thought, "Excellent, a show that will make me feel really, really smart," but the more that I watched it the more I started to actually like the girls. The one who won me over was Bridget. She's Hef's #2 girlfriend. I specifically remember the moment when she got me. She was wearing this cute little dress and really high heels, chasing her dog Wednesday that escaped from the mansion through the yard and yelling, "Wednesday! If you don't come back you can't come to the baby shower with me! You were going to be the most popular one there!" It was the single most adorable thing I had ever seen. I eventually came to really like the other girls as well, but Bridget holds a special place in my heart. My first Playboy love. ;)

It's so strange. These girls lead lives that, at first glance, I would say are, you know, somewhat less than empowering... but I love them. Seriously, I would be their friend, if they would have me. I think they have the most genuinely striking personalities. They are extremely kind, loving and accepting people. And, in a weird way, they seem genuinely happy... which I don't totally understand. But still there's this issue that hangs over my head... they are all dating the same guy! and he gave them a curfew! How can I be OK with that? Well, maybe I don't have to be. Perhaps they've made some dubious lifestyle decisions, but still, I think that those girls are SO interesting and, well, just great.

Something old, something new...

So.

When I read Beowulf sophomore year the translation that we used started with the word "So." Although it seems informal for something as weighty as Beowulf, my prof said it was appropriate because the Old English actually starts with a word that's about as close to "so" as you can get. Why? Because "so" is such a versatile word. It can be both the beginning of a story ("So... has anyone eaten tofu before?") but also the beginning of a conversation ("I wasn't sure if I would like it but I did, so..."). It's both how we start things, when starting things is appropriate/beneficial, and also how we invite others to participate in that conversation.

I hope writing in this blog will do two things. First, help me be more reflective and aware of the life around me and, also, of myself. Second, open up a conversation so that the things that happen to/in me are a little less cloistered.