As I sit here waiting...

I'm waiting for the Dell chat-with-someone-who-can-fix-your-effing-computer thing gets warmed up and thinking... how did people live before computers? Seriously, I don't say that in the "Gosh, I just HAVE to look at Facebook 200 times a day!" kind of way. I say it in a I-don't-know-how-to-use-a-phone-book-or-dictionary-to-save-my-life kind of way. (Lots of hyphenation today!) So then, am I less savvy because my parents know how to use a phone where you can't backspace the numbers if you type them in wrong, or am I more savvy because I know how to keep a blog and write email? Maybe I just shouldn't try to classify myself as savvy or not savvy because that could be pretty dangerous to my self esteem.

Matt, Katie, Tom, and I are going to Appleton next weekend to look at apartments for Matt and me in the summer. I'm really excited! I can't wait to see what the city is like, what the people are like, and what apartment we could spend our first few months as a married couple in. I hope we can find some friends. And a good bar. And maybe a sushi place... Tian will have to come help me find a good one of those. :)

Funny dream I had two nights ago: I was back in the 4th hour that I taught last semester, chatting with the students about how the semester finished, if they were thinking about college, life in general, you know. So I'm making the rounds while the new student teacher (who was like 70) tried to teach when, lo and behold, Hillary Duff is in the class! She told me she had decided to finish high school (which I think she already has, in real life) and heard that the Saline Schools were really great, so she decided to transfer. The the girl next to her was like, "Um, I don't think Hillary wants to talk anymore." She totally publicist-ed me from talking to her... and in my own dream!

The News Today

Today in the Daily, front and center, there was an article that caught my eye. The long and the short of it was that over the weekend a girl (who was pretty high) walked into a fraternity house, got naked, laid down on the couch, and started masturbating. Apparently the girl was quite calm throughout, talking not only to the boys who lived there but also on her cell phone. Well, after a half hour of that, the boys decided to call the police. And this got me thinking...

If that had been a guy who walked into a sorority, undressed, laid on the couch, and started touching himself those girls would NOT have waited a half hour to call the police. Why? Because they would have felt so threatened. Isn't the contradiction interesting? A guy basically sexually harassing a bunch of girls -- disgusting, scarring, threatening. A girl doing the same thing to a bunch of guys -- laughable, perhaps slightly confusing, a funny story.

So, why didn't these guys feel threatened, too?

Google

Last night Brianna googled herself and found that the first two sites it brought up were of her in Crusade. When she told me about it I immediately reached over for my computer and googled myself to see what came up... the exact same thing. I was thoroughly freaked out/pissed off so I tried to delete myself as much as possible, but those same two references still come up when I google myself.

So tell me, will this Crusade thing always be a part of me? Because I would rather pretend it never happened.

My Neighbors

When Matt visited last weekend he brought me a couple of all-the-souvenirs-in-Las-Vegas-were-crappy-so-I-bought-you-something-nicer presents. One of them was the first season of The Girls Next Door, which is my new favorite show. It's about Hugh Hefner and the three girlfriends that he lives with who are, from left to right, Kendra, Holly, and Bridget.


When I first saw it I thought, "Excellent, a show that will make me feel really, really smart," but the more that I watched it the more I started to actually like the girls. The one who won me over was Bridget. She's Hef's #2 girlfriend. I specifically remember the moment when she got me. She was wearing this cute little dress and really high heels, chasing her dog Wednesday that escaped from the mansion through the yard and yelling, "Wednesday! If you don't come back you can't come to the baby shower with me! You were going to be the most popular one there!" It was the single most adorable thing I had ever seen. I eventually came to really like the other girls as well, but Bridget holds a special place in my heart. My first Playboy love. ;)

It's so strange. These girls lead lives that, at first glance, I would say are, you know, somewhat less than empowering... but I love them. Seriously, I would be their friend, if they would have me. I think they have the most genuinely striking personalities. They are extremely kind, loving and accepting people. And, in a weird way, they seem genuinely happy... which I don't totally understand. But still there's this issue that hangs over my head... they are all dating the same guy! and he gave them a curfew! How can I be OK with that? Well, maybe I don't have to be. Perhaps they've made some dubious lifestyle decisions, but still, I think that those girls are SO interesting and, well, just great.

Something old, something new...

So.

When I read Beowulf sophomore year the translation that we used started with the word "So." Although it seems informal for something as weighty as Beowulf, my prof said it was appropriate because the Old English actually starts with a word that's about as close to "so" as you can get. Why? Because "so" is such a versatile word. It can be both the beginning of a story ("So... has anyone eaten tofu before?") but also the beginning of a conversation ("I wasn't sure if I would like it but I did, so..."). It's both how we start things, when starting things is appropriate/beneficial, and also how we invite others to participate in that conversation.

I hope writing in this blog will do two things. First, help me be more reflective and aware of the life around me and, also, of myself. Second, open up a conversation so that the things that happen to/in me are a little less cloistered.