I love to teach. I really do. I feel alive when I'm doing it and I love the back-of-my-mind sense of reassurance that I am doing something to positively contribute to the future. What I don't like about teaching is all of the non-teaching things about it. Since it's the public sector, there's so many rules and forms and red tape that you have to wade through. It's a legalistic business... counting minutes, calculating percentages, filling your gradebook with performance statistics... basically CYA-ing. I've never been good at following the rules, even though I wanted all authority-figures in my life to think that I was. :) Anywho, the point is that the new school year is starting and I'm... um... intimidated by it? There will be so much to learn and do, so many boxes to check, so many papers to fill out. And now that I'm in a huge district/school I fear that everything will become very impersonal. I miss Shelby so much right now. I think that I under-calculated the value and comfort of going back to a place/system/people I already know. I wish that my mindset right now was, "How am I going to improve this year?" instead of "Where's my room? How do I use my keys? Where do I even get keys??" Again.
But the grass is always greener, you know?
2 comments:
teh grass is always greener, how true. I went to a yoga class today and it made me miss you a ton. Sorry you have so much newness right now.
The grass IS greener here...tell Matt we all say so! LOL Talked to M today and she said the guy they offered the Eng. job to turned them down, so they're back to our Pinky Club student teacher buddy and the student teacher from two years ago. I'll let you know which one it is, but I guarantee neither will match up to what we lost. :( GOOD LUCK with all that new stuff all over again - at least it won't be FOUR preps with a bunch of sassy seniors!!
MISS YOU!!
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